Thursday 21 May 2009

Mummy to Jazzelle

"Jazz baby, mummy really had a hard time taking care of you these days, I'm not sure what happened, you could hardly nap in the afternoon and that really exhausts me. In the night, its equally tough to get you to sleep on our bed, the moment we put you down, you'll start to cry. At least, daddy is around in the night to help me out.

These occasions frustrate mummy, leaving me a decision to not pick you up when the reason of your cry is to be carried. I'm sorry if I did it the harsh way, it wasn't easy to watch you cry and not do anything, it pains mummy, really!

This afternoon, you started the cycle again. True enough, I couldn't bear to see you cry helplessly, I picked you up again and again throughout the day. Am I not allowing you to learn on your own? Mummy's not sure. And sometimes, I feel so discouraged by you, I felt so incompetent being your mummy. I'm not sure if I've cultivated your habits and routines for behaving this way.

Well, if there is a standard way of handling a baby or child, then there will probably be a book on 'An idiot's guide to being a Mum.' I guess the upbringing of a child is to each of her own way. Baby, bear with mummy while I'm still learning. Being first time parents is not easy for us.

Jazz, forgive mummy if I've not been entertaining your loud cries, I promise to give in more. After all, which baby doesn't like to be cuddled? Mummy has been reminding myself that it's part of your growing process. Once you outgrow each stage, things will get better and we'll all experience different challenges again. What's important is to give you a happy and healthy 'babyhood.'"

"Mummy loves you!"

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