Thursday 7 April 2011

Terrible Two

It's my first week with the two kiddos at home. My best moments are only when both Js are sleeping, but it's not easy to synchronize this. Most of the time, I would being screaming at the top of my voice at Jazz. Sigh! I've no idea why my frustration towards Jazz has been intolerable these days. Perhaps we're spending more time with each other, so I'm facing more challenges than her school days. I get really upset when she doesn't take her meals. My goal's simple, I just want her to eat well. I would cook her meals everyday, giving her choices, rice, noodle or porridge, and then whip up the food that she loves. It's usually a trial and error, and it can be risky if I try a whole new recipe on her, she's capable of ignoring the food. Some days, she'll finish up her food and some days, I hope food doesn't exist.

Just yesterday, I smacked her all because she didn't want to take lunch, not a single mouth. The thing that amazes me is, when I smacked her, asked her to eat, she said "No." I had this repeated answer despite four smacks. Why? Is she stubborn? Is she not afraid of the smacks? Or is she just too young? I gave up, my mum came to her rescue. I threw her food and my mum showered her while I tried to get some sanity back. Reward system and threats to remove privileges didn't work. I was just exasperated! Someone please tell me that this doesn't just happen to my child. That night, perhaps guilt stricken, I went through the scene and reflected on the situation.

I need to understand that she is unable to express herself as much as the older children are able to, because of her limited vocabulary. I need to understand that she has a mind of her own too. Most importantly, I need to act fast at times, if everything comes near her nap time, she gets extremely cranky because of tiredness. A well rested child is a good child. All these being easy to mention, but when it comes to reality, all I can pray for is that double portion of patience.

Just when I was typing, she woke up from her nap, came to me, hugged me and said,"I love Mummy." Aww, how could I have been so hush on her. Continue....

Today, I tried the positively loving method. Losing only a little coolness during lunch when she asked me to switch between DVDs again and again, but I became nice in a while. Well, whatever, as long as she eats. Throughout, I spoke to her in gentleness, held back my anger and scoldings, and gave lots of praises. Things seemed better this way, a patient heart yields positive outcome. And for not being impatient, I have greater tolerance. The trick is, anticipate her unfinished food before meals, and take her 'No' as an answer. Respecting a kid's decision.

She loves to self feed, but I dislike the mess

'Rat's tail' soup with fishcake, fishballs, spinach and pork

It really isn't easy being parents, having to encounter different challenges at different ages. Unlike maths where we have formulas to decipher problems. Parenting is individual and personal, we do what's best for our kids. That's lots of experiments for me though. Maybe more of science than maths. So who's my next challenge? Jare!!!

The expressions that can suppress my anger

Sometimes, she really is a cutie pie. Last night, her Daddy commented that she might be better off attending school, lessen her scoldings and smacks. I sounded to Jazz, "Do you want to go school?" She said, "No." It's only the first week and school's out of her mind. Prior to that, she would wake up excitedly every morning to get ready for school, regardless who's sending her. I think I'm getting myself into trouble when she goes back next month. 

No comments :

Post a Comment

Blog Widget by LinkWithin