Thursday 12 May 2016

Is there a best age gap between siblings?

We're into the 3rd week of welcoming our newborn, Juboy. His monicker. It's been quite a breeze this far, except for some nights when he decided to fuss after feeds and rob the peace of the light sleepers. The man and I.

Other than disrupted sleeps, it's looking manageable this far. Breastfeeding was initially tough as we struggled to bring his jaundice down, but flow is now good and supply is sufficient. He's drinking very well and getting chubbier along the days. I guess we will be good transiting onto the second month without help from our confinement lady. I'm an experienced Mum after all. #notshy

Being our third and having 2 kids (Ages 7 and 5) of a rather big age gap, everything seems to fall pretty well in place. Jazz and Jare are showing much affection to their little brother, and because of this gap, I find that they easily comprehend that the baby needs their Mama when he demands milk. The only case of crying gets you what you want in the house. No jealousy or rivalry. 

Thankful for these understanding little people. 

It was somewhat different years ago, when I was pregnant with Jare. A guilt bugged me and I felt bad towards Jazz for needing to divide attention with another sibling soon. She was 2 and it seemed we've not had most of her toddlers years yet. 

I recalled the initial weeks upon our second arrival were rough, we dealt with jealously and Jazz was throwing random tantrums that required our complicated navigation. At that tender age of 2, nothing seemed to work with reasoning. It was however, rainbow after storm and rain. 

The third came and I felt extremely accomplished to have seen and focused through the toddler years of Jazz and Jare. Though Jazz does require some help and attention with school work now, she is independent most times. In fact, both elders are very much independent. 

There are different benefits and drawbacks for having siblings spaced closely together, just as there are in siblings spaced apart. I did worry they may not be playmates the same way, the things they can or cannot do together, as well as the closeness they hold. But perhaps, I should look at this as having greater love, encouragement and help from the older siblings.  

We are still in the early days of adapting, and I do hope things stay as wonderful as it is. Of course, the littlest has yet to discover the pros and cons of his siblings. More squabbles or peace ahead? The days will tell.

I reckon, there really isn't a perfect time to have another child, even if it means starting babyhood after a long while. The best time for one, may not be the best time for another. We all have different family dynamic.

While little lives are wonderful gifts from God, we will be given the wisdom to work around our circumstances to bring forth and care for another blessing. For sure, another sibling will be the best gift for one another.

Looking forward to the brighter and exciting days ahead as FIVE!

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