Thursday 27 April 2017

The littlest turned ONE

The littlest in our family turned ONE!

A look back on blog, I know there is barely any chronicle on Juboy. Not that he is portioned less love, or that his milestones are insignificant, just that, my hands are full!

Milestones are memorable and worth celebrating over, but after having three, it becomes a swift growing phase. We stop chasing milestones, because we know they will eventually come to past. A healthy and happy little one is all we ask for.

Juboy is slightly underweight, I stopped breastfeeding when his weight was stagnant between his 6th and 7th month. I felt like I was dying of guilt when advised to switch to formula to up his calories intake. Though drinking and eating well, he didn't seem to get any much chubby since. I self comforted that it's probably Daddy's genes he took after.

This boy is the most fortunate of three. I took him, and is still taking him into the hands of my full time care. While I was out working before older Js turned one. So yes, there is a vast difference in terms of sanity. When you are out of home working, you get that break and breather from home and kids, but a stay home Mum is stuck to her job duties regardless.

Being a full time Mum to a baby is a whole load of chaos physically and mentally, and in my role, with greater time and tasks distribution among the three.

I've to say it has been a tough year juggling three. I had the baby almost everywhere I went with older Js, but I'm glad it did not deter us from venturing places.

New Mothers need more of that love and encouragement. We get the harshest treatment of incessant crying, most disgusted poop, worst regurgitation and endless mind games to a bub who can barely sign or verbalize. Some days, it takes a toil on us. 
We cry with the baby too.

We cook on some days with a leech to our legs or arms, but still, we need to cook. There are older kids to feed. 
The dinner schedule is often delayed.

We try to catch up on our meals, but largely depends on the baby's schedule. Most times, we skip or if not, eat with a baby in our arms.
Meal time gets quicker.

We slot in time for catch up with friends who do not birth around the same time as us, we ended up running in and out the restaurant with an impatient baby. Gracious friends we need!
We can't do quality catch up. 

We upkeep the house in midst of a sticky baby, and some days we just can't get any chores done. 
The house is in a mess. 

We plan our toilet visits, or if not, we bring a little companion along. There's no hideout even if it means toilet break.  
We have a constant toilet companion.

You can tell, there's no time for hobbies. Only time we have is when the baby is sleeping, with hopefully an easy and sound bedtime.  
We sacrifice a big part on time and sleep.

We are often in the mad rush of packing and bringing everyone out to be on time for appointments.
We battle with punctuality. 

We don't know if the guilt is skewed towards the older kids or the youngest baby, but they have all given up certain needs and wants during varying situations. 
We struggle in the game of guilt.

We forgot or rather, we can't find time to care for ourselves. It's all about baby first, then Mama 
We struggle to love ourselves.  
The list goes on without an end. If you know of a new Mum, send her some love!!! It's not easy tying through the crying days of a baby. Though I felt I could cope better after gloriously raising 2 independent ones, I won't lie that there are bleak days for me. 

The good news, seasoned Mothers will say is, it will all be over in a flash! A year flew over this quick for me. There's so much of a mixed feeling within. A part of me feeling emotional that I have not savour enough of that babyhood and adorable moments, and a part of me is looking forward to witness him acquire independence. 

Raising a baby is interestingly contradicting. 

Hang in there, Mummies of new babies! Growing takes time and time seems like the only recovery for us. The long, tired and hectic days will be over, the crying will get lesser, feeding time gets stretched, the baby bag gets lighter and the routine gets better. It will all be over before we welcome a new set of change. For the better.

There's always light at the end of a tunnel.

To my third born who is ONE, "Happy Birthday! Thank you for completing the family and sprinkling our lives with more laughter! We love you and may you continue to grow in good health and wisdom!" 

Tuesday 11 April 2017

Empowering the Daughter

Earlier this month, the daughter turned gracefully eight. Being the eldest, she is the constant reminder of my celebration in Motherhood years. The journey that once embarked, never seems to end. The journey that requires deep commitment and willingness to keep going even during tough circumstances. The journey with thrown in the towel umpteen times, but still got back to serve. All these in the name of LOVE.

I am Thankful for my kids, the gifts that were bestowed to me, regardless of how and what they were. I don't really understand how the gender of my children were arranged by God, but I am grateful that I am gifted a daughter. Where we can braid with each other's hair and squeal over princesses together.

Most Thankful that she is a simple girl with no complicated requests. I asked what she would like to do on her birthday, she said a playdate with her favourite friends! That wasn't difficult at all, I thought. We did park with her friends in the morning and dinner with more favourite friends in the evening. These got her really contented.

I gifted a 12 points note to our son, Jare, and to play fair, here are my words gifted to the daughter, to empower her:

1. You are beautiful! Always. Beautiful like we often define is, on the inside and outside. 

2. White lies and over flattery words are not my forte. I believe there's always truth in love! You have to believe in Mama.

3. Between Envy and Jealously. Always choose to envy. With envy there is togetherness, joy and celebration. Jealously often leads to dire consequences.

4. It's alright to fail. It matters how we learn from it and persevere on getting it right. 

5. Always deal people with Sincerity. It melts anyone's heart. 

6. We accept and love you for who you are. We may not agree with your temperament at difficult moments, but we accept the fact that you have a mind of her own. We give space and build respect.

7. Humility. Often, most often, there is a trend of over bragging girls. Sometimes, it's not what we share, but how we share. Sometimes, we can choose to contain achievements within the family. Stay humble. Always. 

8. Remember the animations we watched on Nemo and Dory? They are perfect examples of forgiveness and forgetfulness when it comes to hurt relationships. It helps us move on.

9. There will always be some others who will choose to be jealous or say mean things at us. We can't choose their acts, but we can control our response. Do what feels right to the conscience.

10. Between courage and fear, always choose courage. Speaking up and doing the right thing often involve a mountain of debate between fear and courage. While it may not be easy choosing the latter, it helps in taking the first step out of that comfort zone.

11. No matter how strain or upset our Mother and daughter relationship can be on some days, we will always commit to bridge and smooth whatever frictions we have. Only if we have an open and close relationship, we can have access to the inner thoughts of our hearts and minds.

12. Choose right friends. Friends that encourages and appreciates you for who you are! Nice to always have 1 or 2 confidantes than a whole lot of them. Better to have a quality of wonderful friends than a quantity of them. Be a treasured friend too!

Simplicity and kindness sum you up. May you continue to grow in love, wisdom and gratitude. Happy 8th birthday, Darling!

What are your ways of empowering a daughter?