Kids do not run on batteries

We started the year with a busy note. From days with all freed up weekends, we have filled our weekends with classes. The daughter has gotten intensive into her gym training and the boy has started badminton. All filled on Saturdays and Sundays. 

Though they very much enjoy what they are doing, I'm a tad depressed that precious weekends are sucked into classes. And most times, we have to adjust our schedule to the coaches' schedule. Much more than the other way round. For being a home Mum, I've always tried every best to fill classes on weekdays, just so weekends are solely for free time.

Jare has drums on weekday and badminton on weekend. This boy needed a sport to keep him sane. Jazz's plate is fuller, she has gym training four times a week, twice in school and twice over the weekends. In midst of weekdays, she has piano and violin. This really isn't our ideal, but probably the best hours we can put in for her upcoming competition. In competitive sports, her training hours are shy of what most athletes are pumping in.

Her weekly schedule is pretty much filled. I've asked ourselves umpteen times if there is something we should rejig or let go, but we couldn't decide. We did consider putting music on hold, but I didn't want to risk her losing interest in them. Not that she is excelling, but because starting them off wasn't a hasty decision, they were meant for long term. Starting two musical instruments was never my plan. With her already doing piano then, she asked to do the violin. Music is a long and dedicated journey.

Once started, giving up is not an option even when journey is tough, giving up is not an option even when your teacher got a little more strict and giving up is not an option since the day you embarked. We have not ended our race, perseverance is probably the only option. Most times, a kid gave up on something, not because he chose to, but because the parents chose to or partnered that decision in a way or another.

Start something thoughtfully.

 

At this point of her schedule, I am concerned about her childhood. I am concerned about the increased work load from school and the delayed bedtime she gets. I am intensely concerned about protecting her free time for play. Even if it means crafting time for boredom.

Just last week, the daughter heard a conversation between her piano teacher and me. Her teacher was unable to make it for the next lesson, and asked to do a make up the following Monday which Jazz has gym on. I do not really like doing make up lessons out of our allocated time schedule, but I understand private teachers teach for a living and if every parent calls off lesson as and when, what is stability to their income? With that thought, I took the liberty to okay for a makeup lesson on Monday, which Jazz has gym. No other schedules could meet the teacher and ours. 

So make up lesson will be on Monday, after gym and dinner. Jazz came up to me after the teacher left, and said in a pathetic tone, "After gym is very tiring you know. I don't run on battery, Mama." 

That was my wake up call! I mean even if it is just a one time schedule of packing 2 lessons in a day. I really thought she could grit on and just do a lesson of piano. I must have overlooked her physical  and mental ability. It's sad that kids today run packed schedules. Those days when our weekends were all so freed up, we couldn't fit a good play date because most of their friends would be engaged with lessons. 

These are kids of our century. The trend of declining playtime.

And the daughter is absolutely right, she doesn't run on battery. I had better sort it out quick before she gets flat out. I told her teacher, we are unable to do any make up lesson, and we will skip lesson for a week. That's just how "consistent" we get with music practice. But mental state is always a priority. We will take it slow and hopefully, move as steadily as we hope to.

Jazz spoke right into me, while most of the times I give them choices about their schedule and what they had like to do about their activities and lessons. I must have overestimated her ability. Even if she was a battery, everlasting is a matter of time. How quick should we intervene or what right choices should we make right at the beginning? I'm very sure at this point of time, we will need to free up her weekend gym schedule once competition is over next month. If she is agreeable.

What is your child's schedule like? Let's be reminded that there are greater things and achievements than running in and out for classes. There are different environment and places to hang around in. Let's be reminded to factor in free time for their hobbies. Time is often more on hand when they are a child, more than when they step into the corporate world. 

Their kind of childhood is very much in our command.

There is really much considerations when starting our child on something. Do we want it short-term or long-term, what approach are we taking towards it, does a school or private teacher give us the flexibility we want and of course, if our child is enjoying their schedule? Let's not get sucked into the system of 'because everyone is doing it', but because my child needs and enjoys it. 

Enrichment, be it arts, music, sports or academic, in any childhood today, it's almost inevitable. Do we want to orchestrate their schedule or do we allow them to play the music of their life? I forgot to ask my kids, but I will ask them tonight, what are the activities that bring them most joy?! We should be doing more of that!

This Lunar New Year, we want to celebrate family bond and rest from schedules. May you have a splendid time ahead too, Happy New Year!

The littlest turned ONE

The littlest in our family turned ONE!

A look back on blog, I know there is barely any chronicle on Juboy. Not that he is portioned less love, or that his milestones are insignificant, just that, my hands are full!

Milestones are memorable and worth celebrating over, but after having three, it becomes a swift growing phase. We stop chasing milestones, because we know they will eventually come to past. A healthy and happy little one is all we ask for.

Juboy is slightly underweight, I stopped breastfeeding when his weight was stagnant between his 6th and 7th month. I felt like I was dying of guilt when advised to switch to formula to up his calories intake. Though drinking and eating well, he didn't seem to get any much chubby since. I self comforted that it's probably Daddy's genes he took after.

This boy is the most fortunate of three. I took him, and is still taking him into the hands of my full time care. While I was out working before older Js turned one. So yes, there is a vast difference in terms of sanity. When you are out of home working, you get that break and breather from home and kids, but a stay home Mum is stuck to her job duties regardless.

Being a full time Mum to a baby is a whole load of chaos physically and mentally, and in my role, with greater time and tasks distribution among the three.

I've to say it has been a tough year juggling three. I had the baby almost everywhere I went with older Js, but I'm glad it did not deter us from venturing places.

New Mothers need more of that love and encouragement. We get the harshest treatment of incessant crying, most disgusted poop, worst regurgitation and endless mind games to a bub who can barely sign or verbalize. Some days, it takes a toil on us. 

We cry with the baby too.

We cook on some days with a leech to our legs or arms, but still, we need to cook. There are older kids to feed. 
The dinner schedule is often delayed.

We try to catch up on our meals, but largely depends on the baby's schedule. Most times, we skip or if not, eat with a baby in our arms.
Meal time gets quicker.

We slot in time for catch up with friends who do not birth around the same time as us, we ended up running in and out the restaurant with an impatient baby. Gracious friends we need!
We can't do quality catch up. 

We upkeep the house in midst of a sticky baby, and some days we just can't get any chores done. 
The house is in a mess. 

We plan our toilet visits, or if not, we bring a little companion along. There's no hideout even if it means toilet break.  
We have a constant toilet companion.

You can tell, there's no time for hobbies. Only time we have is when the baby is sleeping, with hopefully an easy and sound bedtime.  
We sacrifice a big part on time and sleep.

We are often in the mad rush of packing and bringing everyone out to be on time for appointments.
We battle with punctuality. 

We don't know if the guilt is skewed towards the older kids or the youngest baby, but they have all given up certain needs and wants during varying situations. 
We struggle in the game of guilt.

We forgot or rather, we can't find time to care for ourselves. It's all about baby first, then Mama 
We struggle to love ourselves.  
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.
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The list goes on without an end. If you know of a new Mum, send her some love!!! It's not easy tying through the crying days of a baby. Though I felt I could cope better after gloriously raising 2 independent ones, I won't lie that there are bleak days for me. 

The good news, seasoned Mothers will say is, it will all be over in a flash! A year flew over this quick for me. There's so much of a mixed feeling within. A part of me feeling emotional that I have not savour enough of that babyhood and adorable moments, and a part of me is looking forward to witness him acquire independence. 

Raising a baby is interestingly contradicting. 

Hang in there, Mummies of new babies! Growing takes time and time seems like the only recovery for us. The long, tired and hectic days will be over, the crying will get lesser, feeding time gets stretched, the baby bag gets lighter and the routine gets better. It will all be over before we welcome a new set of change. For the better.

There's always light at the end of a tunnel.

To my third born who is ONE, "Happy Birthday! Thank you for completing the family and sprinkling our lives with more laughter! We love you and may you continue to grow in good health and wisdom!" 

Empowering the Daughter

Earlier this month, the daughter turned gracefully eight. Being the eldest, she is the constant reminder of my celebration in Motherhood years. The journey that once embarked, never seems to end. The journey that requires deep commitment and willingness to keep going even during tough circumstances. The journey with thrown in the towel umpteen times, but still got back to serve. All these in the name of LOVE.

I am Thankful for my kids, the gifts that were bestowed to me, regardless of how and what they were. I don't really understand how the gender of my children were arranged by God, but I am grateful that I am gifted a daughter. Where we can braid with each other's hair and squeal over princesses together.

Most Thankful that she is a simple girl with no complicated requests. I asked what she would like to do on her birthday, she said a playdate with her favourite friends! That wasn't difficult at all, I thought. We did park with her friends in the morning and dinner with more favourite friends in the evening. These got her really contented.

I gifted a 12 points note to our son, Jare, and to play fair, here are my words gifted to the daughter, to empower her:

1. You are beautiful! Always. Beautiful like we often define is, on the inside and outside. 

2. White lies and over flattery words are not my forte. I believe there's always truth in love! You have to believe in Mama.

3. Between Envy and Jealously. Always choose to envy. With envy there is togetherness, joy and celebration. Jealously often leads to dire consequences.

4. It's alright to fail. It matters how we learn from it and persevere on getting it right. 

5. Always deal people with Sincerity. It melts anyone's heart. 

6. We accept and love you for who you are. We may not agree with your temperament at difficult moments, but we accept the fact that you have a mind of her own. We give space and build respect.

7. Humility. Often, most often, there is a trend of over bragging girls. Sometimes, it's not what we share, but how we share. Sometimes, we can choose to contain achievements within the family. Stay humble. Always. 

8. Remember the animations we watched on Nemo and Dory? They are perfect examples of forgiveness and forgetfulness when it comes to hurt relationships. It helps us move on.

9. There will always be some others who will choose to be jealous or say mean things at us. We can't choose their acts, but we can control our response. Do what feels right to the conscience.

10. Between courage and fear, always choose courage. Speaking up and doing the right thing often involve a mountain of debate between fear and courage. While it may not be easy choosing the latter, it helps in taking the first step out of that comfort zone.

11. No matter how strain or upset our Mother and daughter relationship can be on some days, we will always commit to bridge and smooth whatever frictions we have. Only if we have an open and close relationship, we can have access to the inner thoughts of our hearts and minds.

12. Choose right friends. Friends that encourages and appreciates you for who you are! Nice to always have 1 or 2 confidantes than a whole lot of them. Better to have a quality of wonderful friends than a quantity of them. Be a treasured friend too!

Simplicity and kindness sum you up. May you continue to grow in love, wisdom and gratitude. Happy 8th birthday, Darling!

What are your ways of empowering a daughter?

Resisting peer pressure

Some days ago, I questioned Jare on a missing toy. It was usually among his collection of favourite toys till I noticed it's disappearance. I asked where it was and he honestly told me he gave it to his friend. Oh wow! I thought. A treasured friend it must be. I pried further and asked why he gave it to that friend. With a little of regret, he replied, "Because he said, if I don't give it to him... he won't be my friend."

Sounds familiar eh? Kids play, kids stunt and kids language. I understand it's a fair behaviour of how kids play at this age. I know, but but... I have a concern! It is not quite okay, especially as he ages along. It's now that we talk about it or too late when he gets all defensive about his circle of friends.
 

So let's talk about friends, son.

I know we all have that basic need of social belonging. An identity among friends. For that sense of acceptance, we often succumb to acts we are compelled to. Very often, the meek and shy are victims of this. We should however, not wobble to threats and discourage behaviours of such. 

It's commendable that the kids can mediate and sort out disagreements among themselves. So yes, negotiate, trade or strike a deal on what to do with that toy, but not with threats.

And so I told Jare, good friends are not like that. They do not make you do the wrong things or use threats on you. They empathize, encourage and care for you positively. They make you feel sure about yourself. If you don't feel secured or certain in any situation, it's perfectly fine to walk away. Cast our nets wider, we have better friends.

The next time someone comes along with that statement again, we discussed that he can be firm on keeping his toy and tell the person, "I will not give it away" or "That's not a cool friend" or if not, walk away. 

What will you ask your child to say or do?

It's a toy for now. I am sure there will be more complex issues as he grows. Good that we start discussing about peer pressure now. I hope he will remember this teachable moment we had, and along the way finds good friends, hangs out with the right company and stand up at the right moment.

Freedom, just this much we can do.

Raising a little girl

Parenting is often a journey of decisions and choices. The only one choice that we left in God's hands, is the gender of our birth.

I'm in the journey of parenting 1 daughter and 2 sons. In any way, I'm blessed. But that has also made me realized the significant fears and worries of raising a daughter. Jazz's arrival 7 years ago moulded and mellowed me in various ways. A once quick to speak and act lady, now turned a cautious woman. For I know, my words and acts will be mirrored by little followers, especially daughters who look up to their Mothers as role models.

So when someone cuts my line in a queue or when a driver drives recklessly into my lane, I've to exercise good thoughts and handle circumstances calmly. Motherhood is changing!

Parenting Jazz is a bliss, she is one thoughtful and kind-nature girl who rarely gives me heartache on academics and the various ways that make it easier. She is very teachable. She is sweet and lovely in the different ways from Jare. It wasn't too long ago that I carried her in my arms, witnessed her walk and now, starting out in school. Not too long later, she will have become an adolescence. And even sooner, she will leave with her prince. During the transition of phases, I foresee many worries and challenges ahead of our relationship.

I've come to discover more about our Mother and daughter relationship. It doesn't get easier.

We grow on our differences, perceptions and ideas. The gap widens, and it's even more evident when I see this between my Mum and I, even till today. Girls deal more with emotions than boys. So frankly, I ain't too worried about how the boys handle their obstacles and failures.

Which brings me to the point about how Jazz handles her emotions. We often find opportunities to praise and reward, to build on that self esteem. If something's well done, we are quick to give credit and when something goes wrong, chiding her swims up a bag of emotions. 

We had a battle yesterday morning, and it spurred my thoughts about raising daughters. Not invading too much into her privacy, I've to say there really is much work to do in me, when handling the daughter. Things will not be the same, and parenting style will have to adapt to her different stages of maturity. My points and concerns will not always make it to her mind. Steel hard truth.

In midst of these, always comes the emotional challenge which I am either hot headed with or frightful of. Hot headed when I see that it's not a necessary fuss, or frightened because I don't know how will she want to deal with it. Emotions isn't just within our bubble, it affects the people around us. It's not easy to deal with negativities positively. Jare on the other hand is usually quick to get over a bad feel. I wish I could always be saying these kids forgive and forget easily.

Dealing with a girl is almost like navigating a land mine or decoding a password. It's tough and complicated. Aren't all women in that same boat, anyway? In the coming years, I should know that we will have more differences, we will have fights, she may hate me, she will hoard onto the things I deem as trash and she will think that I don't understand her. But all in the name of Love. I love her and I have never wanted to compromise on what's best for her and her character.

Do you feel the same parenting a girl too? 

However smooth or rough our journey, she will always be my daughter, my friend and my best shopping buddy!

Raising an avid reader

I count it my blessing to be raising a little avid reader at home. Jazz loves to read, and now, more skewed towards certain genres she prefers. 

My man thinks it's a trait of any girl to sit and read quietly. Probably refusing to give me any credit for cultivating that love in her reading. And partly because, we're not seeing this trait in the boy, yet. I proclaim the word 'Yet'. 

Whenever someone asks me about her love for reading, I often respond that I'm lucky she loves to read. But if there were some things that I did right, other than that element of luck. I guess it must be some of these doings:

Reading from young

We know reading begins really young. Babies for some. We started formal bedtime stories when Jazz turned a year old. A routine set, hard to change. We read to and with Js everyday. Even when we travelled, I would carry a light bedtime story book for read. I don't think we should stop reading to the kids even though they have started independently. It's a great way to bond too!

Visit the library

We visit the library fortnightly. An almost frequent and regular habit for us. Js own a library card and love browsing and picking books for loan. While they get to select their love, we make a deal to allow my picks too. Think the often neglected Chinese and non-fiction books.

Books over toys

When entertaining buying pleas, we agree more readily to books than toys. The downside is that, Jazz reads a book so speedily that I find it not too worth buying books so often. We learnt to hunt the library and second hand book stores (at Bras Basah)  more diligently.

Let them choose

Let them select what they like to read. Be happy that they are devouring one book after another. Rainbow fairies, Magic Ballerinas, Geronimo and Thea Stilton series are her current favourite. The commonly known series that would brilliantly keep one hungry for the next installment. We had a pact on a reading ratio of 1:3 - It's 1 book of my choice after reading 3 of her choices. I don't compel if she doesn't want my choice. I never run out of recommendations anyway.

The favourites she own

Raise Confident readers

So seriously, aren't the fairies and adventure series some worthless read?!! The love for reading often begins with raising confident readers, and that comes by reading something of their interest. Be glad they are reading something than none. They are some good English and creatively imagined stories after all. Think the writing composition skills they can get out of these stories. 

Book chart

For a start, you may want to do up a chapter book chart. Jazz had a sticker for every book completed and every 3 stickers entitled a treat. Her pace was so fast that we lost track and demolished this scheme. After all, we've reached the goal of cultivating the love for reading.

Home library
It is highly important to build a library at home and one that is easily accessible. I sorted Jare's books at the lower shelf, while Jazz's at a higher reach. Keep the books updated too, to their appropriate age of reading. Our baby books have been archived to the top shelf.

Mini home library

Animated story time

I am shamelessly gonna exclaim that I'm one dramatic and exciting storyteller! Which makes them come back for more. Only thing is, time do us apart. So yeap, we do need to invent our own speech and drama at times. 

Learn new words

Some days, we put a dictionary just next to us when reading. I do get questions on the unfamiliar words, and instead of explaining my layman and sometimes not so layman terms, I leave it to the dictionary. We explore new words together, learn dictionary skills and instill the hunger of learning new words. However, we do this on some days only. It can be daunting if done on all reading sessions.

Time for reading

Give them time to read. Let's not to overschedule them and leave them with little or no time for the things they love. We rarely do screen time on weekdays and with any free time over the weekends, Js would prefer to stay home. Strange kids, I know.

Don't procrastinate reading

Try not to procrastinate when they come running to you with a book, asking you to read. Reading and bonding is quite a priority. You see it essential to read, they will recognize that way too.

Support and talk

I had really see it important to support and talk about what they love to read and have read. Cars, planes, dinosaurs, fairies and adventures? They tell me about them, I'll listen. Really attentively most times.

We are some happy parents with her love for reading. Sometimes so much that I've to plead her to put her book down at inappropriate moments. I know it's tough to put it down, especially with pages that leaves her cliff hanging for the next.

She reads everywhere!

 Once, she fell and had a nasty abrasion on her knee while trying to walk and read. It wasn't just a painful lesson about reading at the right moment, I was also reminded about the moments I multi-task like her on my gadgets. We need to deal with our addictions!

And no, the man and myself are not explicit readers. We read so often online, that we rarely get our hands on any physical books or newspapers. It really is one thing to be thankful for raising a reading enthusiast. 

How else do you raise the little bookworms in your household?

15 signs we're ready for P1!

And so we've been rather smooth with Jazz's primary school registration. There were just so much thoughts the moment we stepped out of her potential school. We knew things will be looking so different with this important milestone.

When I now take a step back and look at her, with that long hair laying over those slender shoulders, I knew she wasn't a baby or toddler anymore. Though I often live in denial by still calling her, baby.

Her poise, her actions and words have matured to a whole new level. Slowly and surely, she's growing to be the fine young lady I had imagined her to be. We gradually caught signs of our readiness for this formal education milestone:

1. We don't play too hard on Sundays anymore. We try to get home early on Sundays, retire early and get well rested for a refreshed start on Mondays. Good habit begins early.

2. When I raise my tone at her younger brother for some mess or tasks to be done, she intercepts swiftly to get it done for her brother. She's no longer just a bystander.

3. We realized there's so much more independent skills to learn. We started to train her on buying and paying for food and drinks, know her money sums, tell time and learn more diligently about toilet hygiene. There's so much more capabilities in her.

4. We found ourselves answering more questions with the answers, "Erm, I'm not sure." "No idea" "I don't know." She starts to challenge the intellect in us.

5. She initiates to teach and read to little brother whenever I ask for tutor replacement. Her patience  gets better than mine!

6. When we start praising her for some good acts, she doesn't smile beamingly at us anymore. Instead, she gives the 'isn't that what I'm suppose to do'  look. She better comprehends responsibility now.

7. She starts ransacking our drawers for evidence that the tooth fairy and Santa Claus were made up. She doesn't live in the world of bubbles anymore.

8. Keeping our fingers crossed, she loves the alarm clock. She doesn't snooze it.

9. We start to realize she's no more eating those small portion meals, but a bigger appetite now. I start to keep her weight in check. Eating right is a good habit from young.

10. We talk more about confidence, manners, empathy and kindness in a school setting. It's a bigger world out there.

11. We know too, she's ready to bid preschool farewell when she tunes in to Disney XD, instead of Disney Junior! Some days, she asks to watch my dramas too. Cartoons? A thing of her past.

12. When we brought her to see Barney live, she said, "It's too kiddy!" It's been some years Barney and her didn't keep in touch. Justin Bieber might be more exciting.

13. When I asked her dramatically if those dino figurines on the floor would bite.... she ignores me. "What!" Sometimes, I think I'm still talking to a 3 year old.

14. And seriously, did we have to stop visiting indoor playgrounds even though I've a 4 year old in tow? She's a little of an oversize for that. We look at play differently now.

15. And she's already asking if she can go back to preschool to visit her teachers. She must have discovered gratitude. 饮水思源 (when one drinks water, one must not forget where it comes from).

Always remember your root, no matter how high you soared

So, it's definitely of some research and a good age to start formal education tenderly at 7. I think we, the forward lookers, are almost mentally ready for the education journey ahead. Did she have to grow this fast?! Cuddle our cuddlies before they outgrow our arms. 

Did you spot such signs of school readiness too? Treasure the big and little moments in our family's everyday, before the schoolwork starts to consume our kids. In midst, don't forget about having fun together. A family that plays together, stays together!

The Mutiple Intelligences in a child

When I was school hunting last year, I came by the term Multiple Intelligences (MI). It was an approach some schools adopt in their teaching. The theory of MI was developed in 1983 by Dr Howard Gardner. He suggested that IQ testing is flawed because it's based towards linguistic and logical intelligences. He proposed that each of us possesses 8 form of intelligences, which represents the broad range of potential not just in children, but adults too.

1. Musical - Appreciates music and musical patterns and excels in composing a performing music and rhythmic movements. Usually possess a perfect pitch too.

2. Kinesthetic - Excels in physical activities and has good reflexes and physical coordination. They enjoy sports, dancing and hands on tasks.

3. Naturalistic - Displays keen interest in nature, plants and animals, and is highly observant.

4. Logical Mathematical - Solves problems using logic and performs well with numbers and patterns. They get a thrill of how things work and how things are put together.

5. Visual - Thinks in pictures, visualize objects easily and often enjoys drawing or art. They have high sensitivity to colour, balance and composition.

6. Linguistic - Displays a flair for languages and communication, excels in reading, writing and speaking in more than one languages. They reason well and are generally good speakers.

7. Intrapersonal - Good at being aware of their own emotions, feelings and thoughts. They enjoy self-reflection. They learn best independently.

8. Interpersonal - Strong in people skills, communicate and works well with others. They demonstrate the ability to interact and manage people.

So we say, "It's not how smart you are, it's how you are smart."

I did a quiz for both Js at actualyse.com. A quick online quiz you can take to discover the intelligences of you and your kids. It's also an online platform where parents can get resources for life-long learning. Lots of good reads and updates within.

I found out that Jazz is dominant in the Interpersonal, Logical and the Visual intelligences, while Jare is dominant in Intrapersonal, Naturalistic and Kinesthetic. Just how different my kids are! From here, it somehow allowed me to nurture them in the right direction of learning and interests, maximising their potential.

Just last week, we brought learning out of classroom with actualyse. We tapped on the naturalistic intelligence to work on a terrarium at the plant story, which is also one of Jare's dominant intelligences. Throughout the building of his terrarium, I could identify his special enthusiasm and interest for the plant he was growing. It's true when we say learning is not confined to classrooms.

Photo credit: actualyse

I am most glad when the different interests and senses of my child is activated. It gives us both a good discernment and expectations from the various forms of activities.

At the workshop, we learned about photosynthesis, why some plants are good staying indoor, in a glass! As well the the process to building a terrarium - the drainage all the way to the decorations on the top. Never too young to learn.

Photo credit: actualyse

I had a great time watching Js build their terrariums and they enjoyed this part of their learning that day. For the grown up in me, I didn't think green fingers were a part of me, till I realised it can be fun growing one!

Have you discovered the dominant intelligences in your child? Take the quiz if you've not. While learning and discovery is a daily affair, I'm pretty sure the results might differ as they grow along the years. The different exposure they continue to immerse in, might tweak their interests. It is, however a good hint for parents to discover their learning style and strengthen those developed areas.

About actualyse.com

actualyse.com is a starting point to support learning for all intelligences and learning styles, needs, and all ages. They bring together education resources and information, housed within a single platform. A digital community where parents, students and adult learners can take the first step to realising their full potential.

Website: http://www.actualyse.com
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Multiple Intelligence quiz here

Disclaimer: Media invite. Photos credit to actualyse.com. All opinions are solely ours.

Small Spaces - Sleep, Learn and Play

I'm so excited to be unveiling Js room! We showcased it some years ago, and here we are again, rejigged and reorganised as toys, books and clothes collection pile up. Decluttering isn't easy at times. We just can't decide which to go.

Here first, their bed of dreams. Good dreams or bad dreams, they sleep on it. But these beds get abandon on weekends, when we'll all co-sleep in my room. The chest of drawers next to their bed houses their Pyjamas and a mix of toys. For Jazz, Pyjamas and Accessories. A dual role as bedside table, it holds their little night lamp and water bottle for night sip.

Bedtime corner

The square shelves were for a purpose. They are to be drilled into the wall to house their built up lego. We bought them not too long ago, and should getting down to work soon.  

We started our love for Lego when we could get it cheaply in the states. It got really addictive till space became a disturbing concern. The collection seems endless, perhaps till debt do us apart. Building these little blocks are also the culprit for why Js prefer to stay in during weekends to work on them. Enemy to my exciting weekend plans.

Here, a zoom in to their works of display. Jazz has her princessy and Lego friends collection while Jare has got his Starwars and Lego city collection. They really love the process of building it. I thought we should find proper solution to showcase them properly, and so here the square shelves.

Unending collection

Some days when we catch a rather scary movie or hear of some bad news, Jazz's fear of darkness creeps in. I put up prayer posters (bought from Oriental Trading) in front of her to calm those fears. It's been most helpful and she's so diligent in praying that she dictate them word by word without looking. I should start putting up a spelling list.

Jazz's bed front is also facing the wardrobes. 

"What do I pray?"

 

Then we talk about the more serious stuff, reading and writing! My friends always joke that I own a tuition or childcare centre, but I think the number of chairs and layout are just perfect. I keep the kids apart while I teach, I sit in the middle and if the man decides to join the education department, he has got his seat too.

While I give a piece of work to one, I'll teach the other. When my teaching is completely done, we'll have silence to work in clarity. Only disturbance is when I do reading with Jare, Jazz finds it a little distracted. My stories are always captivating, can't penalized her for that. Heh. We'll try though, not to coincide if she needs concentration. 

And I'll sit on little blue

When we started doing the kids room, we knew it was a battle of pink and blue. We had a green wall to stay bright and neutral. For the furniture, we knew it has to come in pair. A pink and a blue. I love having storage to keep unglamorous stuff out of sight. Which I gradually realised these cupboards are too quick to utilise. Toys after toys are spilling out of its allocated space. We have to put a STOP to toys shopping. Till we find that empty space again.

Yeap, so that's a peek into Js little all-in-one room. I wished I could say Ikea sponsored their furniture, but good things ought to be shared. They do have beautiful kids' furniture at a decent price. I don't think we need a very long standing furniture, so price factor is crucial. In years to come, just a couple more years, Js will need their individual room and space. Not quite looking forward to that actually. 

How did you create your small spaces? I hope you took some pictures for keepsakes too! 

This post is part of the Small Spaces blog train, which is hosted by Mum in the Making. Click the button for a look at more small spaces!

Next up, we have Susan to share her Small Spaces. Susan is a full-time working mum who find that there are never enough hours in a day. She finds herself juggling between family and work while being a nurturing mum, loving wife and a career woman. She blogs at ajugglingmom.com and hopes to inspire other mothers to lead happy and fulfilled lives.

Dear Mummy - Happy Mother's Day!

I'm into the 6th year of celebrating Motherhood! It's not always a bed of roses, but I would assuredly say, it's a beautiful journey that I've embarked and never since looked back. There's immersed joy in being surrounded by my two littlest. 

Last week, I was in their school for a little performance put up by Jare. Jazz's class didn't put up any though. I didn't think it would be anything dedicated to Mummies until a point the daddies went up to dance! My man was out of town and those busy Daddies who made time for practice, put up an extremely enthusiastic show. It was a very pleasant surprise with all the wives kept in the dark. Though my man was not dancing, I was extremely moved. After which the kids presented a little DIY gift to their Mummies. I've since learnt that a packet of tissue should be a permanent resident in my bag. I was so filled with tears that I used Jare's t-shirt as my wiper. Oh, so embarrassing!

My little boy has grown so much. He now stands before a group of audience to perform a series of coordinated moves, and did just so well. That must be one of the many reasons I sent him to school. To perform on Mother's day!

My teary eyes filled with emotions

These are what he made in school and gifted to me.

Lovely pressies!

On Mother's day eve, I told the kids, "It's Mother's Day tomorrow, could I sleep in a little longer while Daddy make you breakfast?" They both agreed instantly. I didn't hope too high for that, the agreement sounded too causal. 

Next day, I woke up to some whispers beside my ears. I overheard Jazz telling Jare, "No, don't wake Mummy up, it's Mother's day. She wants to sleep in." I wasn't dreaming! I heard those words, I've got my sleep deal. I snugged a little longer before deciding to get up. The man was still asleep! Which meant I've unfed kids. Never mind I thought, it's not wifey's day.

While washing up, Jazz presented a bag of goodies to me! Nothing exuberant but all self made and sourced within the home. I opened letters upon letters and admired crafts one after another. She had it all prepared a week ago! I'm so blessed to always be reaffirmed by her.

My bountiful of love!

I really enjoyed going through every single piece of it. She even hunted down a book and lollipop within the house to gift to me. Not retail sourced, but I was much delighted! The man bought earrings for them to gift me too.

Here's what one of her letters read, "Mummy, thank you for taking care of me and for cooking. you are the best cook ever!! I love you everyday. when you are mad or sad I will always love you. I will always be the girl you like."

Another lovely piece, "mummy thank you for cooking for us. You are the one super star. You always take care of me. You are very very pretty and kind and brave. Happy mother day!!!! I love you so so so so so so so much!!!! 

Grammatical errors? No, I literally melted. It's true when we say it doesn't matter how we look in others eyes, but it matters how we look before our loved ones, especially our kids.

Made cookies and bookmark in school

Though Jare did not seem independent to come up with something on his own, I do hope his sister has inspired him to get creative along the days. One of the best and most practical gifts they gave were those hand made bookmarks. I lose bookmarks often and I need it to chuck between my readings. Too precious to lose them now.

"Thank you little Js for sprinkling my day with extra happiness. I am a low-maintenance Mum, and I had like you both to know I love the way things are gifted, because richness is in love, not in possessions. Great gifts are often in the heart and the thoughts behind it. Self made or bought, it really didn't matter. Even to the day you start getting paychecks, I will be good with hand made. I am contented and most happy watching you both grow in love, in health and showered in great wisdom. Thank you for coming into my life and giving me the everyday reason to celebrate Motherhood!"

I hope all Mummies out there, you had a blast too.


This post is part of the Dear Mummy blog train hosted by mamawearpapashirt. Click here to read what other kiddos have to say to their beloved mummies!

Tomorrow, we have Vera on board the blog train. Vera is a don't stay-at-home Mum of two who loves exploring new places with her kids in tow, cooking up a storm and planning theme parties. During her downtime, she writes at Life is in the Small Things, sharing little adventures and everything in between.

Mum: Taker of teeth, giver of loot

Once upon a Tooth Fairy - The tale is alive in our household!

It wiggled and jiggled for some time before Jazz's gums surrendered 2 bottom incisors to the tooth fairy. New milestone, all within a week. Too fast and too quick for tooth fairy to be ready for it. Oh well, you know, I know who's the acting tooth fairy. Like the tale of Santa Claus, I didn't burst her whimsical bubble of the tooth fairy.

With put together childlike faith. She wrote 2 letters to the tooth fairy, and chucked them tenderly under her pillow. I didn't solicit her to write those letters, it was acted upon a story her teacher shared in school. I read them with much unwillingness to burst that bubble.

Letters to tooth fairy

Letter 1 reads, "Dear tooth fairy, I dropped my tooth. Can you give me a very very nice necklace and a bracelet? You can find me at home. I have a gate that is black. I have a brown door to. I have a dog to."

Letter 2 reads, "Dear tooth fairy I dropped my tooth, but I lost it. I am sad. Dear tooth fairy can you give me a tooth fairy toy? I love the tooth fairy, and thank you for the ring the neckles."

Subsequently, she transferred the second note onto paper. She was really upset about misplacing her tooth in school on the second occasion. Although tooth fairy did mention she needs to collect all old teeth to fairy land, fairies can be kind in nature too. Desires granted, a magical experience came through for both! She received a tooth fairy toy in respond to her second letter. After some high and low searches, this was the closest I could get.

A girly doll with wings equates a fairy isn't it? 

Looking like a tooth fairy toy

She was so excited and in all belief, shared these magical encounters with her teachers and friends. While some friends said, it was her Daddy and Mummy, a few others concurred her thoughts. Oh yes, her teachers played along with us. On the nay-believers, I left her thinking on how firmed her thoughts were. 

It's kind of astonishing to get myself involved in yet another classic tale. Is this something you would play along too? Upon reading her second letter, I thought I should try to achieve something good out of this adventure. I decided to leave her a reply.

A reply

In the gist of my letter, on the capacity of the Tooth Fairy, comforted her on misplacing that lost tooth and highlighted that she could try requesting for more practical gifts next time (self inflicted headaches, I know). And that the Tooth Fairy loves coming into very neat and tidy rooms. Hopefully, this spurred some get together acts on tidying her room often. We should have video-ed her excitements and surprises this far. All too memorable.

It was some fun adventures we've been in. Would you please not laugh at us. I know it feels silly, but for some funny reasons, I'm enjoying this little part of childhood to sprinkle that extra joy and smiles in her growing up. I know, I won't be ready to confess anything, until I have to. But wait, I might fall into my own trap in future. Will she be upset to discover that Mummy had been playing the imaginary roles?!! While time tells, I'll just treasure these magical moments that only a little kid gets to enjoy.

A letter to my 6 year old

Hey Darling, 

You've turned wonderfully 6! You're growing, almost and so quickly to the fine young lady I had imagined you to be. Most memorably on this sixth, I know you had a blast.

I baked some cuppies for your celebration in school and you were extremely delighted to have me coming in to party with your teachers and classmates. It wasn't an exuberant, extremely tasty or creatively designed cake. It was simply homemade and that got you overjoyed. After which, you distributed goodie bags before calling it her day at school. As we walked out, you said that was your best day ever. You taught me simple joy.

It was also a day I spent exclusively with you. Not one I did with your little brother on his birthday and not even a school celebration for him. We do owe him one. You had the privilege of half day school before we retreated together to Universal Studio for theme park fun. Hot and searing the weather may be, we were glad that it wasn't rain we were battling with. That became a secret between you and me. Jare didn't know what went under our sleeves till we presented him a little souvenir from our trip that evening. Daddy wished to be there, but he had to be at work. We agreed that he will make it up to little brother.

I was very much looking forward to bring you out, just us. While you have a younger sibling, favoritism isn't something we struggle with. Just that most days, Jare is like a natural magnet to me, and you, a natural magnet to your Daddy. Many occasions, I was hindered to get quality time with you when Jare was around. Birthday is definitely one good reason to magnify my attention for you.

We went on rides, did shows, took pictures and walked happily hand in hand. It's always more manageable bringing only one out. We enjoyed time together like a friend, more than a parent and child. It was awesome quality time!

A celebration in school, half day at the theme park, a dinner with your favourite Da Jiu and an evening surprise by your friend who came by with cuppies to sing you a birthday song got you so over the moon! I will say, friends since your infant days are keepers! Thank you, Lees!

I will remember that evening, I baked you a cake too. It was over baked and tasted almost terrible. Still you were wow-ed by the 3 coloured layers, which I lazily replicated a 7 coloured rainbow cake. Despite my sluggish and overlooked effort, you said it was beautifully and tastily good. You were so kind in your words.

Thank you for a wonderful day with you, to rediscover and love you all over again! 

So now you are 6. In the preceding years, I saw how you grew gradually into a girl. The chubbiness on your face faded with time. Instead of becoming more adorable, you grew beautiful in our eyes. We know, no one's perfect. You do have some funny and annoying habits, but I'm sure you'll outgrow them in no time. 

You cared for us and your little brother with a good sense of maturity. You never fail to write us little notes to cheer us up when we're down or unwell. You are a good encourager.

Your style of big sister leadership may not be to your brother's liking at times, but we know how you like to be firm on your judgements and plans. We always tease that you'll be a CEO some day. We often talk about the kind and bad tree, and we know your heart is rooted to be kind. Remember, good values will not lead you to wrong decisions. It may be tough decisions, but don't give up for a good cause.

As you mature and grow, build up that boldness. Not the boldness that keeps you climbing and swinging high up on the trapeze, but the boldness to make your feelings and desires known to people around you. In a subtle and reasonable manner. Holding reservations may often obstruct your door to opportunities and getting what you had really want. As you start venturing deep into society, excel better discernment between the meek and menace. Stay on the safe and righteous side, and be bold to say 'No' at the right time. Have courage, my darling.

Thank you for being our wonderful and sweet daughter. Happy 6th Birthday! You are our joy, light and our pride. May you stay healthy, blessed, God loving and richly loved. As you grow in age, may you also be showered with tremendous wisdom and knowledge in the many studious years ahead. We love you!

Always with love,

Mummy

Saying "sorry"

Very much often, humans are covered with that tinge of pride, that we find it difficult to swallow and admit a fault. Never mind that we decide not to apologize, what's more concerning is when we decide to find more faults on others to make ourselves feel better and magnify our righteousness.

I must say apologizing is sometimes not an easy task. I was like that and I have since learned to mellow down much. I'm a Mum, I have little followers after all.

In a recent instance, when I was signing Jazz for a course in a music school, I was very much frustrated with some inappropriate courses they recommended me. Then I called up their other branches with the same queries and found out I was offered some different information. I blew up a little at the lady I spoke to, as I was upset with the diversity of information given. Fast forward, with much little stories within, I found out I maligned a wrong person. Information given was absolutely right, I got confused. Not only was I regretful, I was also deeply embarrassed for not sorting my information right. I am often too hasty to anger. Terrible I know.

Oh well, I could have come out with more excuses like them not giving me solutions, having a new staff on board handling my queries or for getting me all confused. Instead, I decided to end things amicably by apologizing on my blunder mixed up. I could have walked off and ignored the damage done. Leaving them apologetic, feeling bad and probably have some curses behind my back, but nah, I think they did a great job and not deserve my typical Singaporean style of complains. I apologized to end our day well. 

So then, very often, when Js did something wrong that warrants an apology, the intention and sincerity is very much important. I often get grumps and unwillingness when I hint them to apologize. I had to repeatedly emphasize on our purpose of apologizing. We know saying sorry isn't just a word and it ain't easy at times.

And she gives me sweet notes when she upsets me

Parents often make saying sorry a little of compulsory, to make ourselves feel better instead of the kids. But it may not be a meaningful lesson to teach and learn. Don't belittle the word "sorry', there's simply so much out of it. How about some steps to appreciate the art of apology:

1. Question the scenario: Make them ponder about it. Destroying someone's build up blocks or doodling on others work would upset the person and it's really painful to watch efforts go to waste. We often conclude those acts with mischief, but let's ask why they did it. Questioning also ensures that we don't malign the wrong person.

2. Phrasing our request: Instead of saying, "Can you say sorry?", I often try "Could you say something to make him feel better?" Coming up with their own words of comfort with a sorry and hugs not only help mediate situations, it sends them thinking about their act.

3. Amend: Yes, it's a great start with that verbal apology. All would be better if complimented with some acts to rectify the situation. A joint effort to fix something or checking on each other feelings would be wonderful. 

4. Sincerity: It takes some readiness to understand the intention and bring out that sincerity. If they aren't sincere about it, I'll tell them to try again later when they're all ready. What is an apology without great understanding and good intention within.

5. Forgiveness: Ah hah, working on the victim now. When my other child decides to play punk by saying, "I'm still upset" or "I cannot forgive" I know they are kidding. Kids are widely acclaimed to forgive and forget the quickest than any grown ups. Isn't it wonderful that we're starting all these young?!!! I'll remind them that an apology has be courageously sent out, forget about the spilt milk that we can't gather. Let's move on.

6. Outcome: We must have all realised apologizing made everyone felt better! Which is the outcome we want to achieve. It's perfectly alright to apologize for our mistakes.

The art of apologizing should not to be ignored or taken granted for. It shapes a child to take on responsibilities for mistakes, recognize a fault, relieve a guilt and mend things right. If only the World revolves like this. There's just so much to learn from being sorry.