Friday, 29 December 2017

Closing 2017

2017 is closing its chapter. How was it for you?

For a home Mum, it was probably another great year of watching the kids grow, learn and mature. This year, I seem to have struggled much more with sibling rivalry. There were countless fights and conflicts between the older two. I've no idea what is happening, all the tiffs are driving me up to the wall. Friends and experienced parents often tell me it's only natural! But it's a whole new story when you see and spend time with the kids the moment they are off school and unite with each other. You see through every breeze to storm.

Not that I expect some perfect harmony, but it just gets too crazy when I witness their zero tolerance towards each other. In midst, I've mastered the art of ignorance. Ignore the little things, ignore the slightest annoyance, give them time to resolve before intervention, take privileges away and even go on individual dates. Tolerance is futile, it didn't get me much rewards. This sibling rivalry can get so intense that I often feel too much time is spent negotiating, breaking up fights and disciplining. It's time wasted which can be used for other quality matters.

I recalled they were easier when younger. Maybe, it was the addition of another sibling, which possibly means less time with them. And honestly, I've been trying really hard to balance and rope the man in, to mend the gaps. Yet there's just this much we can do.

As I look back the year, life with 3 kids had been excitingly challenging. Families with 4 or more kids, I wonder how their zone is like. I struggled with coping, I struggled to give each child attention and somehow, the least understanding youngest usually wins the battle of time. It is however with consensus that he being the cutest, gets the sweetest deal.

As a home Mum, I've no career goals, I've no salary or bonus to look forward to, I can only continue working in my called role of teaching the kids best values, build memorable and beautiful childhood for as long as I can. For the man, as much as I can give him the peace of mind at work.

I do have fears, I fear that their maturity outgrows my thoughts some day, I fear that their independence draws them too quickly away from me, and I fear they do not grow up the way I had wanted them to. The hard truth is, our kids will really have to leave our nest to build their own families. What will become of me and my gradually empty nest?!

In the new year, I will have to continue making peace and do my best in refereeing sibling conflicts. I strive for a better routine and a greater balance. With the youngest turning two next year, it will be a whole new excitement. I've never thought it gets easier because sending him to school is far from thought, I'm only bracing myself for more busy times ahead. 

Number 2, Jare is hopping onto primary 1 next year! A mixed of feelings I get again, the sea of emotions that I struggle with having a kid out of preschool. But yay! To the savings we get from fees. Mainstream primary school is so much more affordable, won't you agree?!! 

Sometimes the kids are more ready than we are. Though I felt so much lack in getting him ready for P1, the anxious me has mellowed much with this being our second. I just had to be reminded on our ways of easing into P1 for big sister.

The eldest, Jazz is stepping into P3 next year. I will have to say I'm more anxious about that. Still holding back to our no academic enrichment route, I hope she will be able to cope with tougher syllabus, and with the addition of Science. It's impossible to say they learn through play at this age, but igniting the hunger for learning is one great way to inspire.

Year of 2017 wasn't like a bed of roses. Bad things and Good things make up the year. It is always easy to be Thankful for beautiful things, but tough trying to see beauty out of the bad. Over dwelling in the bad doesn't make us any better. In times of tears and in the very congested mind, I look at family with a different perspective. The moments of family presence, hugs, kisses and cuddles are just so magical! It melts woes almost instantly.

Thankful that we are all moving onto another new year! Not so much about the aging, but proclaiming the glorious and better days ahead! 

This is my story to share. I hope your year has been well and may it get even better in the many more years ahead. Have a Blessed New Year! 

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