Thursday 19 July 2012

Talkative Thursday: A Mother's Instinct

I'm not sure how extreme or slight mothers trusts her instincts. I am definitely appreciative for this gift after having 2 kids. I practice and exercise it even at the most threatening moments. Every creature, even animals possess that motherly instinct. It's every mother's survival skill. It is simply putting a child’s needs before a mother’s own. Not one that science or wonders can explain, but what mothers can relate through experiences. Tagging it to a myth is what some think so. 

One dominant area I apply my instinct the most is when the kids are sick. And I’m usually the first to discover that the kids are ill or near being ill. Much before their daddy. 

Jazz was less than a month young. She threw up milk upon every feed. My then nanny suggested to take her to the doctor. I did so, thinking she’s more experienced than me, I had better obey. I was shocked to hear that we’ve to admit her, we did so anyway. That night in the ward, I got frustrated with the many change of doctors, no conclusions and disruptive moments to our rest. I asked to discharge the next morning. I knew she was fine, I knew her nanny was making a fuss, I knew and I knew we should be home instead of the hospital. I insisted on a discharge. We got home and she got well. 

Jazz was admitted to the hospital when she was about 30 months young. She ran a high grade fever, and so did us the parents. A day later, Jare was down with fever too. I had my kids apart, one in the hospital and one at home. I desperately needed to be with both of them, within my arms length. What got me even more down was running a fever too. After the 2nd night of stay, I knew I needed to consolidate both kids home, to care for them. Jazz pleaded to go home, and till now, I could still remember the happiness she expressed when we made our way out of the ward to home. I insisted to get her discharged. It was tough when the doctor asked me to sign the disclaimer form for discharge. I had fears but I wanted to do what felt right. The very young female doctor kept explaining to me about Jazz’s condition and her roller coaster fever, but I knew she didn’t understand me. I signed and got her discharged.

When we got home, her fever spiked up and down. Even up to 40 deg. What made me worse was when my mum asked me to send her back to the hospital. In midst of a panic state, I trusted my instinct. She ran a week of low and high fever and finally got well. We saw her pediatrician to ensure all was well.

This was the most risky decision I’ve ever made. Don’t be too quick to judge my impulse.

Jare had 3 spots on his face. I’ve no clue what they were, HFMD, Chicken pox or whatever. For an assurance, I brought him to a nearby clinic, as his paediatrician's clinic was closed. He concluded Jare as a chicken pox carrier. I doubted and I knew he was 99% wrong. I ignored his prescriptions and chuck it somewhere into the drawer when we got home. Following week, we went to his doctor; his diagnosis assured me that it was just insect bites. I felt comfort with his conclusion. As matched to my instincts.
The spots on Jare's face

Usually and eventually, I found out I was right.
A mother’s instinct is above and beyond times of illness. I use it to identify when Jazz tries to hide truths, I use it to identify her mood during conversations and sometimes through her drawings and crafts. It is what allows a mother to know what to do without researching or asking on how to care for a baby and child. While sometimes, a daddy baffles his way through. I’ve new mummy friends, including myself, with many doubts and queries on handling newborn. Upon Jazz’s arrival, I knew all worries were uncalled for. For every moment, mother’s instinct has prompted me on what to do, even when it comes to a fussy baby. Perhaps the fact that giving birth to a baby who lives inside our womb for so long enables us to forge a long standing connection to the innate side.

A mother’s instinct is sometimes like a compass that guides and helps our child to remain safe and protected. I encourage every mum to try listening more of their instinct, act on it more than not. Although, sometimes a dilemma when instincts are of two minds, I’m sure a mum’s choice will stay the wisest and best for her children.

I believe many other mums have their very accurate intuitive moments too. If you think your child needs further medical attention, probe further or seek other opinions. Sometimes our motherly instincts can be nuisance to doctors or caregivers. And you may agree that the most dangerous zone to stand in would be between a mother and her child. It could turn a perfectly sane mum into a hysterical mum. And as I grow along with the kids, I’ll get more proficient in using this instinctive gift. 

Disclaimer: This being my personal blog allows me to share my personal experiences on mother's instinct. I hope one would have interpreted the correct intentions and exercise instincts with good common sense and knowledge.  

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