Thursday 7 November 2013

Thank You postcards

How often do we slow down and meditate upon thankfulness... When my mind's out of track, its probably high time to refill thoughts with gratefulness, instead of getting all cooped up in negatives. Yes, I'm meditating on Thankfulness. My lovely two. 

In my realistic parenting realm, I must admit there are extreme struggling moments when I felt like Js should be reverted into the womb. Or, "Did I actually birth you?!!" I have such days with my ever challenging kids. 

One day, with much thankfulness within, I decided to start writing them postcards through the mail. I wrote and confessed the good deeds and character in them, hopefully upon reading, it will put some beaming smiles on their faces. Every young and old appreciates encouragement. While trying to pen my appreciation, I was appalled at my lost of words. I ran through my mind again and again, I must have been always obsessed with the bads over goods. What an unappreciative parent I've been! I'm learning. 
We cheated. Omitted stamps and had them directed to the mailbox by hand
The kids were surprised to receive their postcards. It probably boost them up a little when I read through the appreciations. 

I'm thankful to them for being always so forgiving. I have my bad days, frustrated instances and impatient moments. I yelled, I smacked, I threw tantrums the grown up way, yet, all in all, they held no grudges, they forgive and forget. Whenever I'm drowned in my sea of guilt, they could still hug and kiss me like nothing happened. I sigh in dismay when I see part of me, mimicked in their wrongdoings. I should often be blamed, rather than taking authority advantage over them. It's a horrible feel to apologize for my wrongs. Parenting pride, I guess.

And yes, it's obvious that my no yelling/anger project failed 2 big times. I'm not confident to even start on it again.

We know the same parenting style might not work through their growing years. As innocent and dependent they are now, they can be truly forgiving. In their future years, a wrong parental decision or move could turn their faces away from mine. It's not totally true that parenting gets easy. I shall not worry about the unforeseen though. 

Meanwhile, as long as it lasts, thank you Js for being so bearable with me. Have you some thankfulness to write or say to your little ones too?

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