Wednesday 20 January 2016

I believe in you!

Parenting these days get really convenient, or to some inconvenient when you have been politely looped into a whatsapp chat group on school. Some days, it stays relatively silent, while other days it buzzes non-stop.

I've been looped into Jazz's school and class chats. She knows the existence of this gathered e-society with her schoolmates' Mummies, but I am much silent to her about the ongoing and discussions in our chat. Simply, I do not want her to know there's another platform to fall back on if she misses out something from school. Especially when it's her responsibility to be an attentive student in class. I prefer listening to her school's adventure, than surprising with "How you know, Mummy?!!"

So then, early this week she came back with a term of spelling list. I asked when her spelling test would be, as nothing was written in her diary. And, I'm assuming the teacher is giving the students full responsibility of their work, as she didn't get the kids to specifically write the date. It seemed that the date was given verbally, and it was great that Jazz could give a date. We will work towards that.

Next moment, you guessed it, there were various spelling dates and replies in our whatsapp chat. Replies such as, they will email the teacher to find out the exact date, with some mentioning that, "spelling can be anytime!" and "Spelling is this week!" Pretty normal, I thought. We are still fresh in a new school term, and everyone is adapting to how information is perceived. 

My daughter told me it was another date, 2 weeks from now. And nope, I wasn't a single bit of kan cheong because I chose to believe her. Like most Mums, I spoke with great confidence that she was right. I'm just glad we chose to believe our child! That's all about the point, not the spelling. Isn't it?

Not that I'm nonchalant about her school work, but I'm giving her my trust that the date she gave was right. I'm not swaying to the other replies or even letting her know that we have a mix of replies on the date. What is the worst that can happen?

Wrong date - Coming home a set of failed test. I thought great! It's one opportunity we can talk about being more attentive next time and learning to handle failure.

OR - we can choose to practice the trait of kiasu-ism. Study the list everyday! The last time I know, no employer sought to view my primary school results. Process seems more important than outcome.

In any case, the last thing I want her to know is that I don't trust or believe in her. My trust in her means, I will follow through her words. Whatever the date, we will learn and manage this together.

Often my daughter will go, "you don't trust me, Mummy." Without hesitation, if we are not arguing over a fact, like 'The sun is hot' I will never fail to say, "I do trust you."

I believe in you - Marianne Richmond

Just this week, we were reading a book hunted from the library, 'I believe in you.' I love Marianne Richmond's books, as it often connects our true heart with kids and family. One of the pages came alive to me and I thought how apt this book was.

The page that spoke to me!

"Whether it's sunny or stormy, whether you're happy or blue, I'm here to say, without a doubt, that I believe in you!" 

How far will you go in believing your child?

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