Thursday 10 March 2016

"I'm sorry" - Apologizing to your child

When a messed up situation annoys my Motherly peace too much, I knew I had to say, 'sorry.'

I said 'sorry' to my daughter. It wasn't tough putting that parenting pride down. I think about the times I sat my child down for a heartfelt apology from me, it was rare. Either I was managing emotions well, too prideful or rather, apologizing should not be a frequent habit that we don't learn from mistakes. So much about teaching the kids on 'saying sorry', I'm glad I had an opportunity to learn and reflect again.

Saying 'Sorry' to my child was nothing about embarrassment, but all about nurturing and moving on for a better relationship. Not a single moment did I feel it was wrong to say, 'Sorry' or was I submitting myself to an authority. We know respect is mutual regardless the age. I will say, the more sensible being of the parties should make and teach the good initiative. That's me, the Mama.

Last week, I blew up and got mad with Jazz, threw her paint materials and lovely artworks into the trash. All because she decided to leave them like orphans in her room. It was of multiple attempts asking her to clean up and tidy things back to where they belonged. Those umpteen nags got my anger at stake.

Trashed and retrieved

All these chaos just before her bedtime. And we were so overrunning bedtime that I didn't find time to cool, calm and mediate the situation before she ends her day in sleep. She went to bed in hurt and tears. Hurting her bugged me so much that night. How could I have thrown her hard work into the trash?!! They were some time and effort spent. I knew there was a better way to handle that situation of mess.

We found time to talk the next day. I looked into her eyes and told her, "Sorry for throwing your art pieces." We went on to talk about what should have been done, what I shouldn't have done and how we can prevent. A talk like this was healing for us both. In fact, I knew she would be one happy child the next day because of how quick little kids forgive and forget. But then, I do think she is no more one toddler. We do need to handle situations with new maturity at different stages.

We did recovery together by rummaging through the bin for the pieces. And now, there's just so much story in these artworks.

Artworks on light sabers and ice cream

It was more of a lesson for me than her. I felt the need to apologize for that emotional hurt, which could be a deep one. I didn't want a memory of such to be ingrained in her, and I knew apologizing was a comforting closure for us.

I did learn, parenting is not about ourselves, but the many opportunities and decisions we can choose, to focus more on our kids. Thank you Darling, for this opportunity to model humility.

We all make mistakes, and I know what I am sorry about. I don't do everything right in raising my kids, but I learn.

How often do we remember to put down that parenting pride?

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