Thursday 3 October 2019

The Birth Order Book

Birth order can influence who you are, whom you marry, the job you choose and the kind of parent you are. Do you agree? 

I've completed reading this book on 'The Birth Order Book, Why You Are The Way You Are' by Dr. Kevin Leman. Which after reading, I began speculating the birth order of friends whom I did not know of their birth order initially. It was fun to know that I was largely right.

Does Birth order make sense? The book began with listing examples of famous people and their birth orders. And how it made sense with the occupations they were in. And yes, birth order does make sense to a reasonable extend. It enlightened me much and helped me understand myself and the people around me, especially after knowing their birth order. Which is why the world is made up of leaders, followers and the rebels.

Here are the birth order traits I lifted from the book:

Firstborn and only children
Reliable and conscientious, they tend to be list makers and black-and-white thinkers. They have a keen sense of right and wrong, and believe there is a right way to do things. They are natural leaders and achievement oriented. 

Only children take those characteristics a step further. Books are their best friends. They act mature beyond their years - they are little adults by age 7 or 8. They work independently. And they can't understand why kids in other families fight. 


They're the hardest to pin down of all the birth orders, but they'll be the opposite of the child above them in the family. If the firstborn is very conventional, the second will be unconventional. Middle children walk to the beat of a different drummer. They are competitive, loyal, and big on friendships.

Being the middle child means living in a sort of anonymous haziness. But that's not all bad. If a middle child is anonymous, he can get away with occasional laziness and indifference. He's not pushed as hard or expected to accomplish quite as much as the one who came before him. The drawback is that without being pushed,  he may never fulfill his potential. The middle child of the family is often the negotiator who tries to keep the peace.

These social, outgoing creatures have never met a stranger. They are uncomplicated, spontaneous, humorous, and high on people skills. To them, life's a party. They're most likely to get away with murder and least likely to be punished. They often retain their pet name.

But there's also a flip side to being the youngest. Although they're the little star in the family constellation, it's no fun being the smallest, because it means they spend a lot of their time wearing hand-me-downs that are ragged, incredibly out of style, or too big. Being the youngest also means that they get picked on from time to time and maybe get called an unflattering nickname. 

These birth order traits being shared may be inconsistent if there are variables in the birth order, which include age spacing, gender of the child, the relationship between the parents and a few others.

In my family of three cubs, I find the traits very much matches the first and middle kids of mine. While the last born is one we can't identify at that tender age of three yet.

The book went on to cover more details into the various birth order as well as how to parent children according to their birth order. It also gave tips on dealing with perfectionism in the firstborn/only child, making the middle child feel special and helping the lastborn to grow up from the coddles and cuddles.  

You don't have to agree with whatever is shared, because I didn't for some too. Some traits don't exactly define me and my siblings. But the insights and 'secrets' shared definitely helped me discover why my siblings, ex co-workers and children function the way they are. In fact, we would have already known the character our children, it is most beneficial to know more about parenting them according to their birth order personalities.

Much shared and said, at this moment of parenting and growing, I think we shouldn't lock children into their birth order, but allow each child the opportunity to experience the various choices and decisions in their growing up years.

'The Birth Order Book Why You Are The Way You Are' can be found in our local major book stores.

Disclaimer: A copy of this entertaining book was given for the purpose of this review

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