Friday, 1 February 2013

Serious conversation with Jazz

I seem to have had an unintended serious conversation with Jazz this evening, while we were singing a birthday song in the car...

Jazz: How old are you, mama?
Me: I'm 31
Jazz: What about Dada?
Me: He's 34
Jazz: How old will you grow until? 
Me: Well, I'm not really sure, we age every year just like how you grew from 1 to 2 and to 3. 
Jazz: What is age?
Me: Age is growing old, till a day I stop growing, I'll die.
Jazz: I don't want Mummy to die, then no one will take care of me
And she started crying, in sincere tears, not those pretentious cry. 
Me: Darling, Mummy won't be with you forever, some day, you'll grow to be a Mummy and have little children and family of your own. We'll all age and die.
Jazz: No no, I don't want Mummy to die.
Me: Alright alright, we'll try to be with each other as long as we live and as much as possible. Let's take good care of our precious lives, be responsible and not endanger ourselves anytime and anywhere. 

Woah, what a conversation has this birthday song led us to?!! In some sense, my little girl seemed so grown up, we actually discussed about a 'cessation' topic. She understands the fear and sadness of losing a loved one. The moment she started to cry, I got teary too, I felt how genuine her love was expressed for me. And I thought Mothering her was a lifetime! I got reminded that she's not gonna stay a little girl all time. She matures as I get senile.

I gave her no promise that I'll be with her forever, but as much as living is possible, I will be there for her and Jare. Life is simply unpredictable. Moral of conversation - Don't take tomorrow for granted, treasure every little moment with our loved ones. 

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