Wednesday 17 August 2016

5 Things I don't like my kids to say

Quite often, there are words or remarks the kids make that require my quick intervention. More of the habitual statements. Not that there isn't any freedom of speech, but there is always a better way to say something positively, with the right attitude. Here are some things I don't quite like hearing from them.

1. "I cannot"
"I cannot" and "No" are not similar. In the example of me asking:
Me: Would you like to fix a puzzle?
Kid: No
I respect that. We have moods and varying interests at different points of time. I am cool that there is no interest in participating. But if I were to receive a different reply...

Kid: I cannot
With no apparent reason, this does send me jumping a little. "What is cannot without even giving it a try?" Either they attempt it or we will all attempt it together.

So don't tell me "I cannot." Instead, say "I'll try."

2. "I give up"
A better level than previous, at least there's an attempt in here. Giving up is often a quick escape, and it should not be a convenient thought. Grit on and persevere is what we often remind each other on. Cultivating too much of a giving up mind can transform into an unwanted habit.

So stop saying "I give up." Instead, say "Keep trying."

3. "I hate"
A word that many use causally as part of a lifestyle isn't quite to my liking. It is a word too deep and strong, especially when used on humans. I feel the need to address an issue each time a word like this is used. There must be a hurt or anger somewhere that brought it forth.

So kids, stop telling me you hate carrots, you hate your sibling or that you hate your Mum. You will need to sit through hours of counselling with me if that word surfaces.

I understand that some things and people are simply annoying. Instead, let's say "I don't like."

4. "It's not fair"
Familiar? Oh yes, it happens almost any other day. I can never dissect a candy fairly and squarely. Someone will have to take that slightly smaller or bigger piece. I have never assured the kids a life that's like a bed of roses. It's never a fair World out there. Be thankful of what we have and that we can have a taste of that candy.

Saying "It's not fair" shows much of an ungratefulness. Instead, lets say, "I'm Thankful."

5. "Fart"
Oh yes, it's more than just embarrassing. Simply because the kids are often pronouncing it too fast and over. You have any idea how much it's sounding too much like *F**K? Too often misheard that I commanded ourselves to stop using the word. In case other parents overhear and start isolating my kids from theirs. Anyway, this should be a private affair, not to be announced publicly. Oh well, kids being kids.

Either we use the Chinese version or we will go, "Who passed gas?" In fact, we should just keep calm and keep breathing. No need for words.

So yeap, these are the taboos in our family. Any in your household too? Apart from the last (maybe irrelevant) point, let's try using positive phrases to replace their habitual negative statements.


  1. We went through the not fair phase and it drove me nuts. Now it's I don't know that makes me mad as it just shows a reluctance to even try.

  2. I know right, it's like a convenient phrase to use when they are lazy to find out or try. Such a pain to hear at times.


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