Thursday 1 August 2013

Motherhood and Tolerance

Motherhood is major turning point in life, it brings out both the best and worst of me. It changes me in and out, in character and appearance. Life has changed, almost totally...

Have you realised becoming a Mum gave you greater tolerance towards certain surprising habits or situations? 5 things I never knew I could tolerate, after being a mum are:

1. Mess
I am the indirect person responsible for the mess Js create. That's because, I'm the one who blessed them with abundance of toys and sometimes leaving undesired stuff within their reach. And when disastrous moments happened because of my bad, it just seemed too unfair to scold the little ones.

It usually takes a whole lot of inconvenience in a child's learning progress. Jare started self feeding slightly after 1 year old, and I wasn't too concern about the mess he left, after each meal. Practice makes perfect. Though still messy, I'm sure he will outgrow.

Play time is war time, you won't want to enter this zone when the kids are having crazy fun. But, out of their messy play, it's opportunity to teach responsibility. Clean up after play. I see speed tidying when my vacuum cleaner appears and threatens the lives of their toys. They learned tidying the tough way, with toys being confiscated umpteen times.

I've since tolerated with the messiness in life upon their entrances.
Such days are common
2. Less Sleep
If you don't know me, I'm an extreme bed hoarder. The kids robbed my sleep hours! I'm the first to rise and sometimes the last to down, my man's usually the last. He's an Internet hoarder. I didn't know how much sleep I could forgo just to make sure everyone gets well fed and served in the morning. Weekends? Makes no difference when the kids come visiting my room once they're awake. I can't laze too long after they're awake, the conscious part of me knows they are waiting to be fed. I do miss my luxurious beauty sleep, very much. Each year, I'll just ask for the same birthday gift, late morning sleep and good afternoon nap.

3. Bland Food
Our home cooked meals are usually, never strong tasting. Less salt, less sugar and less oil. Or if needed, to pamper ourselves, I'll add more seasoning for the adults' plates. And I never knew I could live by bland food this way, for long.

4. Sacrifices
Being a Mother has made me realised  that there are 2 other more important and precious lives before mine. I'm ever ready to sacrifice time and love for them whenever they need. Tolerating my uncomfort for their comfort seemed so readily in me. Standing in long lines and crowds for play, it's just unlike me. And if their patience allow, what other best can I do to exemplify it. 

5. Meltdown of other child
It takes a mum to understand a mum. I love kids, but even so, before I became a mum, I couldn't tolerate any tantrum or a mischievous child for long. I sometimes begin to judge and crticise the parents for their act. But who am I to judge, and I wasn't even a mum?! After becoming one, I realised how compassionate my heart is to sympathize and feel for parents whenever they are challenged or caught in undesirable situations. Instead of stares, I'll try to offer some help or encouragements.

No parents love dealing with meltdown or misbehaving kids, and if you ever come across one, you may be quick to set your judgement. But lets try to be fair, respect the fact that every family has their stories, rules and disciplines, not every struggle is evident. You may be right about bad parenting, and bad parents may not even be bothered about those obnoxious stares or comments, but to the good parents, your negatives can be devastating! Keep the doubt open, and if your mind allows, think and encourage the positives. Rule of thumb, better to keep silent than speak, if there's nothing pleasing to comment. 

I recalled a boy who used to play with Jazz in the area we lived in. He was extremely rough during plays. I know kids can get too carried away with fun at times, but this boy was kicking Jazz repeatedly, and I had to speak and teach a child who was not even mine to begin with. I know a stranger is never a rightful person to teach other child. I became a victim of judge. Only then, I realised he came from an incomplete family. Not every child has the same set of opportunities for growing and learning. I've since learned to choose words and actions with more compassion. My kids and myself may have also unknowingly, in more than an instance, became a source of irritant to the people around us. As much as I receive others with a compassionate heart, I hope to reap the same rewards.

I can't agree more that Motherhood has tamed most women and gave us better tolerance. We know when to mellow and when to rise up!

No comments :

Post a Comment

Blog Widget by LinkWithin