Wednesday 24 September 2014

Worst days as a Mum

Every job has its best and worst days. I don't present the nice and beautiful things on social media all the time. I have my dark days too. The unique thing about our role as a mum is that, it's irreplaceable. Like it or not, stay on! That corporate job that pays can be replaced with anyone of similar skills set, but not the role of a Mum in the family. 

Bad days aren't what we are looking forward to. But a recollection reminds me that I've gloriously overcome the disasters. I recounted the days when I thought life was being hard on me:

1. Under the weather: It's terrible serving active children when their only carer is near bedridden. There was a time when I was struck by a fever, spinning headache and sore throat, I had to hold the fort to care for Js. It was also then, that I decided to settle their lunch with biscuits or crackers when my then neighbour turned up at our doorstep with porridge for the kids. Thankful for kind neighbours!

2. Sick kids: What's more heart-aching and physically draining than taking care of our unwell kids. Even more exhausting when both kids are down. These are the days when I would lean closer to prayers, step up in faith that they get their pink health back quickly.

3. An over-scheduled day: There were days when I was too occupied with other commitments and personal stuff (hobbies inclusive) that I neglected the kids on the whole. A whole full day with that lack of Motherly guidance makes me feel incomplete. For some bugging reason, I feel sorry when they play aimlessly and look terribly disorganized for too long.

4. An over worked up day: There are days when the vessels in me feel like they are breaking apart. Nothing connects and I can't think right when I see messed up play doh, paint or scattered toys with no responsible owners. Or how about a stained floor or wall? I became a victim of yelling, nagging and all sorts of insane punishments. Oh yes, there are such days when my nerves are totally wrecked. When war is over, I feel really guilty about my styles adopted. That feeling of aftermath guilt, "I shouldn't have yelled that high pitchly" is terrible.

5. An uncalled for remark: I've never been fully confident about how my children would behave in home or in public, with family or friends. Tell me of a child who never had meltdowns. There was an occasion, when someone (I know) blatantly made an uncalled for remark about my child. Being hurtful is an understatement, I was devastated! I was terribly upset for almost a week, before I decided to let God and let go of that hurt. I've been so foolish that I got upset with the kids for the behaviours displayed, in trade for that remark. I knew they were innocent. I rejigged my thoughts and affirmed myself that I've never been an irresponsible parent in any part of their growing up journey. I held them in my womb for a good 40 and 38 weeks, I birthed them, I nurture them and they are mine to be loved, just as anyone's. Obnoxious remarks are uncalled for. You don't have to love my children or my parenting style, just keep unfriendly opinions to yourself. 

A Mum needs that load of patience and tolerance, which are often pegged to our schedule and sometimes our mood. Days are terrible when I lose them. Out of these days, there's always something I think I can do better:
  • Prioritise and manage time better. Mismanagement of time often affects my innocent ones.  
  • Keep undesirable objects out of their sight, even if you think it's of no threat. Making mess manageable.
  • Put the unimportant tasks aside, stop to give attention. Read that requested story, play that game or give quality conversations with eye contacts.   
  • Manage my mood. Good and bad news are everywhere, let's try to be partial.
  • Sift out nasty comments and stay true to my parenting values.

There's much revelation gained out of every situation. Wiser and stronger we become! Remember, there's always something thankful, even in midst of the worsts.

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Get that tranquil tea when the going gets tough

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