Wednesday, 7 May 2014

In the mind of our littlest

Rush and busy may our days be, we often neglect the little things that mattered so much to our kids. The norm of life and the words we use on our kids are often inhabited in us. So much so, that we disregard giving second thoughts on our parental acts and words towards them. Many times, when I reject or upset the kids, I would have this post decision dissonance. I'm like, "Why did I say that?" or "Why did I do that?"

I try to constantly remind myself that we should see things from the perspective of their little mind. And I guess, these could be the little voice in them:
  • It's been a while since we ask for a candy or chocolate, but you always say, "No!" And when we say "No" to your requests, you get upset. That's just how we feel.  
  • We sometimes get too curious about exploring certain things, which we tried asking you with no outcome. We ended up with our own exploration, and got you upset.
  • We ask to have your time you said, "later or another day." And when you ask us to complete our tasks readily, you couldn't accept "later or wait" as a reply.
  • You jump very quickly into various conclusions, but you hardly clam down to listen. There's always an explanation to the things we are messing around with.
  • Your desire to listen sometimes depend on your mood and you choose what you want to listen. Maybe being overworked is the culprit.
  • Some days, when you get really busy, did you realise our only form of communication were the giving of orders or instructions?
  • We have a strong wish of being punished or disciplined fairly. It's not to our liking when we are chided for something we did not do.
  • You reject our pleas to be carried in your arms, but we're exhausted after a tiring day out, especially on running your errands.
  • You make us sit through meals to join in the 'polish your bowl race', but you know, some days, like anyone, we choose our food liking. 
  • You pressure and sometimes get impatient with our developments. Time and space are sometimes the keys to our development.
  • When your days aren't smooth sailing, we become your victims. Nonetheless, we think of ways to make you happy. 
  • We do our occasional squabbles and snatches, and that's how siblings grow together. You've been through it.
  • You wouldn't allow us to tarry longer in play, but you overspend time at work or on your gadgets.
  • You command our eye contact when you're talking, but when we talk, you had eyes on your phone. 
  • You decide everything for us, from top to toe. Would you give us choices at times, please?
  • Honesty is the best policy, but when we admit fault, you get mad over head on us.  
  •  You often hurry us, but you know that's just how little our hands and feet are.
  •  You shoo us for naps, but as we age, we drop our naps.
And the list goes on....  with other challenges, as our little ones progress with years.

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It doesn't seem easy to be a child at times, neither is it being a parent. I'm trying, most times, to devote more time for consideration, even on the smallest decisions I make for the kids. Learning to first respect their thoughts will reap us encouraging results, I bet. We live childhood only once, our parenting decisions make up a significant part in every child.

Oh well, always easier said than done, but let's try practicing more of the pause and think parenting style.

2 comments :

  1. Hi, chanced upon your blog. This is the first time I'm here and this post stuck a chord in my heart today. Just had a stressful day with my kids. Reading those sentences from the kids' point of view reminded me that they're still kids and have their own needs and agenda, which are so often and easily being put aside simply because of our busy-ness, stress and tiredness. Thanks for this list. I feel like going to give my kids a big hug now... but they're all asleep. I shall do that tomorrow. :)

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  2. Great seeing you here, ing! I think prying into their mind, helps keep my balance at times.

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