Monday 25 August 2014

"Hurry up" is situational

Like any other days, we would stroll home after getting Jazz from school. There's always a two way traffic road that we have to cross to get home. At the pavement, I would grab those little hands, struggle to balance an umbrella in midst and look out for the safest moment to get across. Traffic lights are planted at two very far ends of the street, which I decided they're more for vehicles than pedestrians. I wasn't jaywalking. 

One of the days, while I firmly held those hands to get across. Jazz crossed over at her very snail pace, eyes engrossed on some stuff she got from school and fiddling it with the other free hand. We were dragged slow by her eventually. I got worried and said, "Come on, Jazz, we are crossing the road, don't take your own sweet time."

When we got onto the safe zone, she got upset and went, "Why can't I take my own sweet time? When can I take my own sweet time? Why do I always have to rush?" Woah, Darling daughter, that's alot of questions and in one breath.

I know about being gracious by not hurrying our kids too often. And being home bounded most times, our schedule is rather flexible. I'll try not to hurry the kids. If I need a rush, we'll talk about the actions to focus on and consequences of being late. I'll go for alternatives like, "Time is running out on us" "Bring your breakfast into the car" "Class is starting" "We shouldn't let our friends wait too long" or "If you take too long, Daddy will be late for work too." We have situations to look out for, and if we didn't talk about time at this tender age, taking their own sweet time will probably become a dominant habit. Realised how lateness is a grown habit? The world doesn't wait on us. There's a time and place for everything.

Time waits no men and lesson starts promptly in school. It's true you can't have your breakfast all day long, you can't take forever to put on your clothes and shoes or not pack your bag till the last minute. I need to remind you that time is ticking away, till the day you manage time well. 

On my response to Jazz question that day,  I gazed at her and said, "I gave you plenty of time to play when we are home or out, but there's always a time to end everything. We were crossing the road, we can't take too long to get across. Cars zoom fast and we need to think of our safety. We need to hurry across." 

I evaluated. As much as I would love the kids to lullaby through childhood, we need to set priorities right. It's almost impossible not to rush our child, and realistically, I know there are such days.  When we have more time, sure! Go ahead and play with that mimosa you always stop by to touch, while I patiently wait till you're ready to go. Go ahead and chase that pigeon, while I watch and capture your joy. Go ahead and negotiate for more time, if we are not in a rush. We need to get the value of time right, as young as possible, when reasoning begins.

Rushing the kids too often can strike me with guilt. I've learnt  that it should not be a habit instilled in me, but executed appropriately on situations. I've learnt to allocate more time for my little slow people on certain activities. A matter of fact in our rat race society, rushing is not a total ignorance for our little citizens too.

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  1. I'm guilty of it every single day as I have to bring Sophie with me to work in the morning and take public transport. It's not something that I'm proud of but if I don't hurry her, well never make it to school or work on time...

    1. I know right, especially when we're working. You reminded me of those work days when I had to 'rush' her to get us all on time.


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